Each time i return to the job search i am hit with those all too familiar pangs of doom, a fuzzy head and a never ending email inbox of job alerts. The majority of which are completely irrelevant- how in the hell does a job alert set up for copywriting bring up an engineering or gardening job daily?

Not only is the search process monotonous, it’s also incredibly self-deprecating.

You spend hours upon hours playing the ego maniac, bigging up all your skills and schmoozing on LinkedIn. Then you’re met with regular bouts of crushing self doubt at yet another rejection email or my personal favourite (sarcasm intended) NO REPLY AT ALL.

I’ve even had no reply to full-blown interviews the last few months, without feedback how am I supposed to know what I’ve done wrong?! And the travel ain’t cheap either.

It gets to the point where you start questioning everything from your general abilities to your breathing techniques.

In a process so involved with selling yourself, it’s easy to lose yourself in the process. Or at the very least, doubt your own abilities.

My MA finished over week ago now and I have been looking for full-time work since June as I wanted to be ahead of the game. Little did I know that the game would be more intense and over-running than a two man attempt at Monopoly.

I’m currently in a state of mania, flitting between frantic job applications and selling roughly 80% of my possessions across eBay and Depop. Links are included cos your gal is poor.

I understand that this isn’t one of my usual life updates in which I inundate myself with positive affirmations. Essentially it’s very real and my lack of blog posts in general has basically came from a huge dip in confidence in both my writing abilities and confidence in general. Both of which I believe are pretty much a direct result of job-related rejection, as well as a bout of adult acne (thanks a bunch hormones). Both of which have also resulted in a ten fold increase in crisp consumption and many more unnecessary afternoon cups of coffee.

If anyone has any tips (for jobs not cutting down on crisps, as I attend to continue that for the forseeable) I would really appreciate them and you can get in touch with me over on Instagram!

Thanks for baring with me in these long gaps between posting and for reading any of my posts ever, as although I may not be the best writer I bloody love doing it.