Losing Control

Control Freak – a person who feels an obsessive need to exercise control over themselves and others and to take command of any situation.

When I hear the term ‘control freak’ what first comes to mind is some hyper-organised Bridezilla-esque workaholic. Pretty much the polar opposite of myself.

I can be pretty lazy; I live surrounded by heaps of clothing and I often spend more time on planning trips and scrolling the ASOS website than I would on anything remotely ‘important.’

Nonetheless, I am a CONTROL FREAK.

I have a real issue with letting go, I like to have tabs on everything I can, not so much in a ‘nosey bitch way’, more in the way where I think that if I exercise control in more situations, I’ll inevitably have more control over the outcome; something I’ve learnt is greatly unreliable.

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My inability to relax is an interesting one, I often fill silences with nervous babbling and even when on my own my mind continues to race.

I’m so unacquainted with the feeling of total relaxation that I once did a meditation session and began to freak out thinking I was dying, as I just wasn’t use to the feeling of relaxation and clearing your mind! Having a vivid imagination that never stops can be fun, but it certainly has its downsides…

If like me, you suffer from the great annoyance of being a slight control freak (I’d say only half way to Monica Geller), I have listed some tips and tricks on controlling (such irony!) that behaviour and learning how to let go, something we all need to do from time to time.

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Try not to overthink

The most common creator of my obsessive qualities is my constant over-thinking. Worrying about the negative consequences of every situation is draining, it dramatically decreases your own quality of life. Let the past be the past, and don’t fret about the uncertainty of the future, just live in the now. With lots of deep breaths.

Focus on the positives – always

As much as I wish that I worried less or that I wasn’t as much of a control-obsessive, there will be aspects of my personality other people admire, or wish they had themselves. This is difficult to even acknowledge, particularly when you have rather low self-esteem.

As mentioned before, my overthinking may pain me, but it does allow me to have a highly active imagination. Transform all the energy you put into criticising yourself for your more ‘negative’ attributes, into concentrating on how they may make you unique, or how they may in fact contribute towards a special quality you have.  Energy is transferrable wherever you want it to be; such as turning crying and sulking about your body into a positive sweat session at the gym.

Relax

As I said earlier, I massively struggle with switching off. But I do try, especially more recently, to enjoy any brief moments of piece my mind grants me. These moments often occur when I am alone, and to savour these moments I find that meditation is a really phenomenal thing to practice.

I highly recommend the app ‘Headspace’ to get you started, it’s super simple to follow, it’s even saved me from a few panic attacks, which is a miracle in itself!

Stop trying to Play God

At times it may feel as though you have the power to exercise control in everything around you, perhaps even nature. Well you can’t, and you will fail trying anyway! You can’t have your fingers in all the pies, and the world will keep on spinning whether you’re present or not.

Always try to reduce your priorities and be increasingly picky about what you dedicate your time to, it can also help to cut out your involvement where it’s not needed!

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Thank you for reading, let us fellow control freaks unite and try to use our powers for good!

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