Being tirelessly positive is my life source, at least out-loud. If I repeat ‘it’s all okay’ ‘I’m so lucky’ ‘life is beautiful’ until my lungs give out, surely it must be?

Often, I don’t give myself time to second-guess whether I believe these near-ancient mantras I’ve committed to. I let them become a part of me, a constant accompaniment to my *generally* cheery disposition. A state of being where I strive to put everyone around me at instant ease and display warmth, even if my insides feel like they’re being permeated with shards of ice.

I’m not trying to seem a martyr, and I certainly don’t think this tireless optimism is something to be rewarded. I envy realness without apologies, being able to act a bit off or ‘have a bad day’ earnestly. Don’t get me wrong, I love a moan too, but then I leave the interaction with my inner monologue battling against my actions; “god you were such a drain” “what if you’ve just made them feel worse about the world too” “you’re so lucky, and you’re being an ungrateful brat”. The list continues. I know I’m not alone in these patterns, and all my fellow empaths (bet a lot of you are pisces’ too), I feel ya and we can reassure each other together.

However, there are a lot of blessings that come with a commitment to optimism, so I thought the point of this post, could be to air some strange/helpful/unnecessary behaviours I exhibit as a serial optimist. Hopefully some of you can relate, and I’m sure some of you will read these and think “get a grip Em”.

Give us a smile love

Yes, I force smiles. Or laughter. Although, not on the beck and call of a white van man, purely for myself. By forced smiles, I’m not talking about horror-movie style, jaw-achingly wide “she definitely crawls the ceiling at night” kind of expressions. Instead, it’s just the case of if I’m feeling a bit flat, or have been attacking myself with insults and am feeling like I want to cower in a hole somewhere, I’ll try and switch up my whole demeanour by flashing a lil toothy grin.

I’m quite a smiley gal anyway, but I find if you force a quick smile, the utter ridiculousness of it normally results in a giggle, and is a quick way to shift your mood. Fake it till you make it vibes, but on a budget, and it takes half a second, and smile lines are cuter than frown lines.

Tell everyone what you love about the world, and about them too

I find that when I’m left alone with my thoughts, it’s harder to pick out the sunshine. But when I’m with people I love, and certainly when they are struggling, it’s so much easier to remind them why life is exuberant and beautiful (often because they are, and they make my life so much better for being in it).

The other week, I was telling someone I care about that ‘you never regret giving a compliment’ so if I think it, I say it, this came after I’d just told them what album they reminded me of and why their gorgeous aura and personality lent itself to that choice. You never know when you can make someone’s day, so it’s always worth a shot.

In terms of being in love with the world, that’s never more evident to me than when I’m lost in the moment with the people I adore. Failing that, it’s when I’m in nature. And just like complimenting a person, I think the energy you put out into the world comes back to you – so compliment life itself too.

DOPAMINE IS ON THE MENU

I saw the concept of a ‘dopamine menu’ doing the rounds of social media last year, and as much as I’m sure it’s seen as another fad or 20 second trend, I think it’s one worth employing.

“A Dopamine Menu is a personalised list of activities designed to boost dopamine levels, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure, motivation, and reward. It’s essentially a curated collection of enjoyable and stimulating tasks that individuals can refer to when they need a pick-me-up.”

This could be a list you keep on your phone, that you add to overtime. Something you turn to when you’re having one of those days or even hours when you feel a bit lost, and the self-loathing begins. It could be going for a walk with your headphones on, reading a book, making yourself your favourite meal, a bath, calling a friend… the list goes on. One of mine is definitely listening to music.

I have a playlist of ‘perfect tracks’; songs I deem to be untouchable. This does not make them all my favourite songs, rather I just think they are indisuputably perfect. Some of them are sad songs, but I still reach for them in moments of anxiety or self-doubt as they are the kind of records you get lost in, and are representative of the kind of beautiful art and connections human are capable of making. Coincidentally, the listening of this playlist then often leads me to want to create art myself (whether that be writing or music), which is another lil source of joy. Joy squared.

I’ll leave you with the playlist itself to round off this short, but hopefully sweet post. Keep going, you’re all lush.

Em x