I touch on the subject of Mental Health a lot here on the blog. It’s something incredibly close to my heart, and indeed my sometimes conflicted and anxiety-riddled head. A lot of us will suffer from a mental illness in our lives; 1 in 4 people will experience a mental health problem of some kind each year in England (Mind, 2024)

Just like a physical illness, mental illness can be fleeting, recurring or even a lifelong battle that has a lockdown not only on your emotions but your physical ambitions and capabilities too.
Rather than retell my personal mental health journey again today, I thought I would instead focus on how we can all do a little something to help those suffering. Some of which may only take a few seconds out of your day, but will remove some real big stormy clouds from theirs.

It can be heartbreaking being close to someone with mental health problems; your seemingly helplessness can seem crushing. Although it may not eradicate their issues, a few of these simple acts will remind the person in question that you care, and most importantly that they are loved and valued. Here are a few tips to help you help them.

Checking in

Sometimes communication can feel like a heavy burden. Loving texts sat in an inbox can often feel too mentally exhausting to unpack and reply to. But even just seeing someone cares, and is genuinely interested in your wellbeing is like a big warm hug. It doesn’t even have to be a ‘thinking of you, hope you’re doing better x’, it could be a quick check-in paired with a meme and a funny story. Sometimes the latter actually feels lighter and easier to respond to. You’ll know your friend/loved one better, and therefore, have a clearer idea of what they might need in terms of communication (e.g. whether they prefer calls, or they communicate solely through sending Kate King tiktoks – Lucy I’m looking at you). So go with your gut, and as long as there’s good intent in our words, it’ll show them that they’re loved.

Offer practical help

You don’t have to do one big grand gesture, little acts of kindness to make their day easier are often much more appreciated and accepted, and certainly less overwhelming. You could offer to do some shopping for them, or accompany them to an appointment or take them out for an activity if they’re up to leaving the house (it often works to tag this onto an errand, for example going to the cinema after an appointment. That way they’re already out the house so are more likely to agree to come along). Find out what works for them, and do not pressure them to ‘keep busy’; we all cope differently. 

Reassurance

Selfishly, this can be exhausting to keep handing out. But where you feel like you can, please do. Believe me, in my lowest mental state, I was the person always asking for reassurance (from family, in relationships etc.), and it did feel incredibly uplifting to receive. I am aware that it can be draining to dish out constantly, hence why it was something I felt incredibly guilty of asking for in the past, so be mindful to protect your own energy whilst also trying to restore some in others. You want to let them know they are not alone, and they are loved. Then through giving them the space to talk, and listening to how they’re feeling, they will feel those words of affirmation you have given sink in.

You can’t force someone to get professional help

Unless it is life-threatening and you need to take action to protect the person in question and/or others, you cannot make someone go to a doctor or self-refer for counselling. We want the people we love to be well, so it can feel powerless and frustrating to have the help be there and them not to take it. But as adults, we are all ultimately responsible for making our own decisions and cannot force anyone to do anything. You can however make the options for help clear, and highlight their accessibility. If one of the methods has worked for yourself, you could share your experience (I’ve done this to encourage loved ones to go to counselling/therapy). 

Don’t take things personally

What your loved one is going through is not your fault, and it’s also not about you. You can give them your time and your love, but please don’t expect anything in return. If they are going through a tough time, the likelihood is they will not have the energy to reciprocate the efforts. Don’t be offended if they don’t text back as much as usual or make plans. Their mind is just busy and heavy right now, and they don’t have the same mental capacity as they do when their functioning at their best, or indeed a more balanced state. They need you, and they’ll appreciate you showing up. 

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Handy links

• You can get quick medical advice by contacting NHS 111 England or NHS 111 Wales. If you call 111, you can select option 2 to access a 24/7 helpline offering urgent mental health support.
• You can also encourage them to call Samaritans on 116 123 to talk to someone, 24 hours a day.

Look after yourselves ❤︎

Em x